Loveology Radio: Sex That Transcends

<div style="background-color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 19px; margin-bottom: 1em; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; text-align: left;"> <img alt="Loveology Radio: Sex That Transcends" src="http://dingo.care2.com/pictures/greenliving/1034/1033090.large.jpg" title="" /> </div> <div style="background-color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 19px; margin-bottom: 1em; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; text-align: left;"> <br /></div> <div style="background-color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 19px; margin-bottom: 1em; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; text-align: left;"> Join Wendy as she explores the fascinating juncture of spirituality and sex with Dr Jenny Wade, author of <em>Transcendent Sex, When Lovemaking Opens the Veil</em>.  Her research explores the spiritual and altered states that happen spontaneously in sex.</div> <div style="background-color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 19px; margin-bottom: 1em; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; text-align: left;"> Dr. Wade is a developmental psychologist and researcher specializing in consciousness studies, especially the capacity for transformation. Her work explores the spiritual and altered states that happen spontaneously during sex.  Her career research focuses on how people change, especially as a result of access to unusual states of consciousness during life, including prior to birth and after death when brain function is minimal.  Dr. Wade also serves as a business consultant on optimizing differences in normal adult consciousness and as a professor of doctoral studies at the Institute of Transpersonal Psychology in Palo Alto. ITP is an accredited non-sectarian graduate school at the forefront of psychological research and education probing the mind, body, spirit connection.</div> <div style="background-color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 19px; margin-bottom: 1em; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; text-align: left;"> Don’t miss this rare opportunity to learn about the access point to both understanding and creating life changing transcendent sex in your own life.</div> <span style="background-color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 19px; text-align: left;"><br /><br />Read more: <a href="http://www.care2.com/greenliving/loveology-radio-sex-that-transcends.html#ixzz1rlBnc7Nf" style="color: #003399; text-decoration: none;">http://www.care2.com/greenliving/loveology-radio-sex-that-transcends.html#ixzz1rlBnc7Nf</a></span>

Loveology Radio: Sex That Transcends

Join Wendy as she explores the fascinating juncture of spirituality and sex with Dr Jenny Wade, author of  Transcendent Sex, When Love...

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3 Things That Kill Sexual Desire

<br /> <div style="background-color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 19px; margin-bottom: 1em; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; text-align: left;"> <br /></div> <div style="background-color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 19px; margin-bottom: 1em; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; text-align: left;"> <img alt="3 Things That Kill Sexual Desire" src="http://dingo.care2.com/pictures/greenliving/1150/1149291.large.jpg" title="Sexual" /> </div> <div style="background-color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 19px; margin-bottom: 1em; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; text-align: left;"> Can we have great sex with someone and not have a good relationship? The answer is sometimes we can, but mostly we can’t. Good sex does mean that the connection and intimacy we have with our mate does translate into more intimacy. However, it’s not the whole story. Sexual relationships often hinge on whether couples make time for sex, or whether they can still be romantic. John Gottman an emeritus professor of psychology at the University of Washington and the author of <em>The Seven Principles of a Happy Marriage</em> and <em>The Science of Trust: Emotional Attachment of Couples</em> maintains that “What’s been described as low libido in women is the fact that their men stopped courting them.” Let’s look more at other factors that cause “low libido” in Part 2 of examining the recent iVillage national survey with women on what they really think about behind the bedroom’s closed doors. (Read Part 1: <a href="http://www.care2.com/greenliving/just-how-important-is-sex-really.html" style="color: #0c739e; text-decoration: none;" target="_blank">Just How Important is Sex, Really?</a> here.)</div> <div style="background-color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 19px; margin-bottom: 1em; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; text-align: left;"> <strong>Forty percent say that raising children lessons their desire. </strong>Children take a lot of the spontaneity out of our sex lives. It’s a challenge to be able to find the time to be together with needy babies all around.</div> <div style="background-color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 19px; margin-bottom: 1em; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; text-align: left;"> 1. Sex and exhaustion are not a good mix. Men don’t always understand what it’s like to be a stay-at-home Mom. Especially within the first three years of a child’s life, the constancy of care is so exhausting. The ability of a spouse to understand the effect of long term child care will affect the return of their sex life. Empathy and compassion are ways of connecting and for women that is the necessary ingredient for sexual desire.<br />2. When there is a loss of desire on the part of one spouse, try talking about it. Listen to complaints, make agreements, and strengthen your friendship and partnership. The term inter-dependency is about working well as a team. Good teams play well together.<br />Ask these two questions of each other…<br />3. What are three things you can do to make your relationship and sex life improve?<br />4. What fantasies can you talk about that would make your sex life sexy?</div> <div style="background-color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 19px; margin-bottom: 1em; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; text-align: left;"> <strong>Thirty-four percent say their libido is limp because of <a href="http://www.care2.com/greenliving/can-a-good-fight-save-your-relationship.html" style="color: #0c739e; text-decoration: none;" target="_blank">arguments</a>. </strong>Conflict resolution has as its main goal to increase intimacy through listening, acknowledging and validating the opinions and feelings of our partner. It’s a big turn on. Nothing kills desire more than arguments that are not solved or if they are too frequent. Anger and desire cancel each other out.</div> <div style="background-color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 19px; margin-bottom: 1em; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; text-align: left;"> 1. Anger management and conflict resolution skills are the most important skill in a successful relationship. Conflict is the killer in relationships and sex lives. Conflict kills desire, trust and friendship if it is not resolved in a good way.<br />2. Basic resolution skills involve: Cooling off first (no one is rational when they are mad). Then make sure you acknowledge and validate the other person before you make your point (acknowledgement does not mean agreement). Then define the problem. Ask what you can do to make it better and then try to do those things that you talk about.<br />3. Compassion, understanding, respect and empathy create a space for sexual intimacy to happen. Kindness is always foreplay.<br />4. Remember when you were first dating and you wanted to have sex? What did you do then? You dressed up, went out to a nice dinner, said sweet things, were funny and you hung on every word. Why do we forget this?</div> <div style="background-color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 19px; margin-bottom: 1em; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; text-align: left;"> <strong>Thirty-one percent say they aren’t interested in sex because of a loss of physical attraction.</strong> The loss of physical attraction is based on not being our best selves at home. The challenge is to be the kind of person that someone would want to have sex with. Relationships require that we become better people to be in them.</div> <div style="background-color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 19px; margin-bottom: 1em; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; text-align: left;"> 1. When sexual attraction diminishes or goes away entirely it can be the result of health issues, drugs and alcohol, personnel issues or the loss of respect. The loss of respect is the chief cause of the loss of sexual desire.<br />2. If your partner has lost respect for you, what can you do about it? Make sure you have taken responsibility for whatever you may have done to cause it. Do whatever you need to do to make it better and let your partner know what your plan is.<br />3. If your mate is not interested in sex, then don’t push for it. Do all the things that would make your mate feel you are tuned into them. Make sure you acknowledge what they are feeling.<br />4. One of the most difficult aspects of relationship intimacy is the fear of being vulnerable. Men are told early on to not show emotions, don’t cry, don’t show weakness. Emotions are normal and no one is weak for having them. Don’t be a victim, but for sure don’t be the perp. You have nothing to lose by telling the whole truth and nothing creates respect more than someone who is willing to open it all up.</div> <span style="background-color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 19px; text-align: left;"><br /><br />Read more: <a href="http://www.care2.com/greenliving/3-things-that-kill-sexual-desire.html#ixzz1rlB84d00" style="color: #003399; text-decoration: none;">http://www.care2.com/greenliving/3-things-that-kill-sexual-desire.html#ixzz1rlB84d00</a></span>

3 Things That Kill Sexual Desire

Can we have great sex with someone and not have a good relationship? The answer is sometimes we can, but mostly we can’t. Good sex do...

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5 Keys To Better Sex Page

<br /> <div style="background-color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 19px; margin-bottom: 1em; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; text-align: left;"> </div> <div style="margin-bottom: 1em; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;"> <img alt="5 Keys to Better Sex" src="http://dingo.care2.com/pictures/greenliving/1150/1149285.large.jpg" title="Friendship , Relationships" /> </div> <div style="margin-bottom: 1em; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;"> <br /></div> <div style="margin-bottom: 1em; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;"> How’s your sex life? And what does the quality of sex have to do with the mind, or the breath?</div> <div style="margin-bottom: 1em; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;"> For centuries, humans have explored mind-body connections. Many of the ways we’ve used to reach a deeper self awareness have resulted in improvements across multiple aspects of our life: work, interpersonal relationships, and yes, even sex!</div> <div style="margin-bottom: 1em; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;"> Here are five keys to get you and your partner on the path to better, quality sex:</div> <div style="margin-bottom: 1em; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;"> 1. Quiet your mind, and take inventory of where you are. What state of mind you are in? Are you calm, or agitated? Are you here in this moment, or still thinking about work or something else?  And what might be holding you back…do you lack confidence or have doubts or fears? It all starts with self-awareness. Simply observe, do not judge yourself or try to change anything, just be aware.</div> <div style="margin-bottom: 1em; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;"> 2. Breathe. Take deep cleansing breaths. Feel your chest rise and fall. If you were agitated, find a sense of calm. Let go of any other thoughts and just be in the moment. Clear your thoughts and think only of the breath. Follow it as it flows into, through and out of your body.</div> <div style="margin-bottom: 1em; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;"> 3. Shut down the little voice. As you focus on your breathing, you silence the little voice in your head. This is the one that keeps you from enjoying the moment — it reminds you that you’d look sexier if you lost 10 pounds, it nags at you about problems at work — and keeps you from having great sex. Release it, one breath at a time. Every time you exhale, let those negative thoughts flow out.</div> <div style="margin-bottom: 1em; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;"> 4. Locate your sexual energy. Is it all concentrated in one area of your body? Or is it a general tingling throughout? Ideally, your sexual energy flows through your entire body. Your heart and mind are fully engaged. If you simply feel an uncomfortable build-up of energy that needs to be released - that is all that you will get in the end, a quick release. Instead, gain control over this energy and allow it to fill you up. One of the easiest ways is through slow, rhythmic breathing.</div> <div style="margin-bottom: 1em; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;"> 5) Keep Breathing. Yes, more breathing! When you breathe through your nose rather than your mouth, you stimulate the nerve centers in your brain. No matter how fast the rest of your body may be moving, take slow and deep breaths through your nose, and continue this throughout your lovemaking. This will circulate the sexual and emotional pleasure you are feeling throughout your body for an extended and more satisfying experience.</div> <div style="margin-bottom: 1em; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;"> Try engaging your partner in these practices as well and incorporate it into your foreplay. When both of you take the time to focus on giving and receiving pleasure, you’re both certain to even more satisfaction!</div> <div style="margin-bottom: 1em; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;"> As for postcoital, it’s important to continue to work on deep breathing (basically a form of meditation) on a regular basis, not just during sex. You’ll find that it helps reduce stress, clarify thinking and create an overall sense of well-being. With regular practice, it will also become easier and faster to find that place of self-awareness and connection.</div> <div style="margin-bottom: 1em; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;"> Are you ready to breathe some additional energy and excitement into your sex life?</div> <br /><br />Read more: <a href="http://www.care2.com/greenliving/5-keys-to-better-sex.html#ixzz1rlA9eH6A" style="color: #003399; text-decoration: none;">http://www.care2.com/greenliving/5-keys-to-better-sex.html#ixzz1rlA9eH6A</a> <br />

5 Keys To Better Sex Page

How’s your sex life? And what does the quality of sex have to do with the mind, or the breath? For centuries, humans have explore...

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The Truth About Tantric Sex

<div style="background-color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 19px; margin-bottom: 1em; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; text-align: left;"> <img alt="The Truth About Tantric Sex" src="http://dingo.care2.com/pictures/greenliving/1154/1153191.large.jpg" title="Sex | Care2" /> </div> <div style="background-color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 19px; margin-bottom: 1em; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; text-align: left;"> <br /></div> <div style="background-color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 19px; margin-bottom: 1em; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; text-align: left;"> There’s a scene in <a href="http://www.care2.com/greenliving/downward-dog-upward-fog-book-giveaway.html" style="color: #0c739e; text-decoration: none;" target="_blank">my women’s novel</a> where the main character, Lorna, has an amazing sexual experience. It’s not because her partner has any special abilities in bed, but rather that Lorna, on a new quest to live spiritually in her everyday life, opens herself to the energy of source during the encounter. “The expression ‘best sex I’ve ever had’ seems a massive understatement,” Lorna marvels afterward. “This feeling of expansiveness, of being at one with the world, is the best <em>anything</em> I’ve ever had.”</div> <div style="background-color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 19px; margin-bottom: 1em; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; text-align: left;"> I didn’t know until I recently spoke with Miranda Shaw, author of the book <em><a href="http://www.amazon.com/Passionate-Enlightenment-Miranda-Shaw/dp/0691010900/ref=pd_bxgy_b_img_b" style="color: #0c739e; text-decoration: none;" target="_blank">Passionate Enlightenment: Women in Tantric Buddhism</a></em>, that what Lorna had glimpsed was a <a href="http://www.care2.com/greenliving/tantric-sex-for-beginners-4-easy-tips.html" style="color: #0c739e; text-decoration: none;" target="_blank">Tantric sexual experience</a>. Shaw, an associate professor of religion at the University of Richmond, says Tantric sex is not so much about sex as many of us think. Instead, the intimate act is merely one of many vehicles practitioners use to connect with the cosmic flow. Western teachers who focus on boosting your sex life through Tantra have it wrong, she claims–the emphasis is more appropriately placed on boosting your enlightenment.</div> <div style="background-color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 19px; margin-bottom: 1em; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; text-align: left;"> That’s not to say sex doesn’t enter the picture. Read on for more about this fascinating practice–and some of Shaw’s tips for bringing a piece of it <a href="http://www.care2.com/greenliving/tantric-sex-tips-love-kit-giveaway.html" style="color: #0c739e; text-decoration: none;" target="_blank">to your own bedroom</a>.</div> <div style="background-color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 19px; margin-bottom: 1em; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; text-align: left;"> <strong>Can you describe what “Tantra” is?</strong></div> <div style="background-color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 19px; margin-bottom: 1em; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; text-align: left;"> Tantra emerged in India in the seventh century as a way to weave (that’s what the word Tantra means) every aspect of daily life, including intimate relationships and erotic experience, into the spiritual path. Strands of Tantra exist in the Hindu, Jain and Buddhist traditions, although my study is Buddhist Tantra.</div> <div style="background-color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 19px; margin-bottom: 1em; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; text-align: left;"> <strong>So Tantra involves much more than sex?</strong></div> <div style="background-color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 19px; margin-bottom: 1em; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; text-align: left;"> Yes, there are many practices: methods for working with energy, images to contemplate, sacred sounds (mantra) to chant. The central goal is to realize the inherent beauty and perfection of the world and sacredness of all beings, including oneself. Romantic partnerships are a focus of Tantric practice because they are fertile ground for revealing the beliefs and emotions–the illusions–that cause us to suffer and act in ways that harm others. The goal is to see reality as it is and respond appropriately, with clarity and compassion, in a way that contributes to the evolution of the planet toward greater well-being and happiness for all living beings.</div> <div style="background-color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 19px; margin-bottom: 1em; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; text-align: left;"> <strong>But sex is also a major part? Why?</strong></div> <div style="background-color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 19px; margin-bottom: 1em; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; text-align: left;"> Rather than something that detracts from religious life, sexual experience is a prime opportunity for spiritual cultivation if approached meditatively and as a yogic practice. The central purpose is to tap the cosmic energy that flows through the human body, heighten and concentrate the energy through sexual union, and then use the energy as fuel for spiritual transformation.</div> <div style="background-color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 19px; margin-bottom: 1em; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; text-align: left;"> <strong>Tell me a little about a full-blown Tantric sex ritual as practiced by a serious practitioner?</strong></div> <div style="background-color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 19px; margin-bottom: 1em; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; text-align: left;"> I prefer the term “sexual yoga” to “Tantric sex.”  The practice is advanced and rather technical–a kind of inner “rocket science”–that incorporates mindfulness meditation, emptiness philosophy, yogic breathing, mantra recitation, visualization of deities and symbols, and movement of energy and inner fire (called kundalini) through the subtle yogic anatomy of channels and energy centers (chakras) along the spine.<em> </em>My book, <em>Passionate Enlightenment,</em> describes some practices–-ways to meditate and images to envision–to direct sexual union to spiritual ends</div> <span style="background-color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 19px; text-align: left;"><br /><br /><b>Read more: </b></span><b><span style="background-color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 19px; text-align: left;"> </span><a href="http://www.care2.com/greenliving/the-truth-about-tantric-sex-how-you-can-benefit.html#ixzz1rl8x0UnM" style="background-color: white; color: #003399; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 19px; text-align: left; text-decoration: none;">http://www.care2.com/greenliving/the-truth-about-tantric-sex-how-you-can-benefit.html#ixzz1rl8x0UnM</a></b>

The Truth About Tantric Sex

There’s a scene in  my women’s novel  where the main character, Lorna, has an amazing sexual experience. It’s not because her partner ...

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